INDEPENDENCE

So, my fellow Gwaps, today, we are going to talk about something very important to who we are and that is Independence. A lot of times, we are stuck in the bubble of familiarity and fondness on something and we called it stability. And so, it becomes a norm in our lives, and we think that we should never depart from it. But what we don't know is that sometimes, those things we label familiar and grow accustomed to can be hindering our chances to grow as a person. We form dependence on these things and don't even know until it is time to depart or take responsibility for ourselves and then we feel the burden and fear of being alone.

There is nothing wrong with finding someone who you can depend on and you feel like you have so much in common. like for instance, your parents, or your best friend or your significant other. we all have those. I LITERALLY CALL MY MOM FOR EVERYTHING. But understand that you should be seeing this people as a figure for guidance and a shoulder to lean on. Don't let them become your source of happiness. Don't let them become your reason for accomplishment. Don't let them be the reason you are who you are. And I don't mean this in a selfish way.

See. There are a lot of people who are so attached to dependence that they can't function without somebody around them. They attribute who they are to that one person, that if that source of dependence disappears, they feel like their world is crashing in. And it doesn't always start out like that. You meet someone and share mutual feelings. You consistently start to spend time together and grow fond of their presence.

Because you like the person, they are present for your rise and downfall and they possibly comfort you. You get so used to them that it feels weird without them there. You can't do things by yourself anymore unless they are there. You don't take chances unless they take it with you, your happiness is meaningless till they witness it, and you can't move on from your sorrows because they aren't there to comfort you. And so, you begin to attribute your outcome to their presence. It becomes an addiction.

What people don't realize is, they are becoming weak under dependence. They are destroying the seeds being built in them. They are cutting off their water source and trying to get it from another garden. And keep in mind, the problem might not be with the person they are dependent on. That person might have no clue on their effect on you. But you, who feels helpless and incapable know that your identity is slowly caving in.

So what should you do?

Wake up! Pull yourself out of it! You came in this world by yourself. Why can't you survive by yourself? Thank people for their aid and empathy, utilize it when you really need it, but don't depend on it. Feel happy that your friends and family are around you consistently but don't acclimate your happiness to them. Use them as a guide but play the game by your self.

And i'm not telling you to be lonely, i'm not forcing you to be alone, i'm asking you to be independent. To take the initiative and do things you want to do regardless of who is there and who won't be. The help that you are so used to receiving, if you can do the same thing without the help. Trust me, it feels a 100x better.

STORY TIME: so i am so used to my father paying my phone bills, and i always wait for him to do it at his disposal, therefore meaning, he gets the phone up and running but i have to wait at his convenience. And what is there to complain for? HE PAYS THE BILLS. But what about when he can't? When he doesn't find the use of my phone as a pressing issue the way i do? I have to wait till he does, I can't do anything about it until he does. When it's back on, my source of excitement is because of him. And there is nothing wrong with that, he is my dad after all.

But when i got my first job and decided to pay my own phone bill, i felt different. I felt proud. I mean part of my paycheck was gone when i could have gotten it for free, but I didn't mind. The feeling of knowing that you worked for something without the help of anyone and you are able to attribute your success and your happiness to nobody else but you is out of this world.

Now this is just a measly example of a phone bill but it applies to anything else. If you want to do something, do it. Don't depend on other people for it. Their help might be really convenient, but what happens when there is no help, are you sure you can do it on your own? Instead of wondering about the maybees, just start now. If you want to go out and do something and your friends aren't around to be there, still do it. If you feel sad and need a shoulder to cry on but your loved ones aren't there, so what? Let it all out to yourself and gather the strength by yourself to move on.

Take charge of your outcome and be the driver of your life. Appreciate the people who are there in the backseat, and if one day they aren't. Keep on driving till you reach your destination.

This is one of Gwap's daily rants, so you can take some of my garbage or just throw it out. Independency isn't about running away from your parents and wanting to do things by yourself. It is more about acknowledging your parents, but taking the wheel from them. As well as your loved ones.

So break out of that phase of dependence and feel of reliance on people and start making your change. I want to see YOU shine for YOU. YOU might fall but YOU will get back up. Because it is YOU. I believe in YOU.