LETTING MAN GO.

Now often times you meet someone and get to know them, and things are going smooth until some weird thing happens and it’s time to drop them. They either are very sneaky, have other significant others, never text back, lowkey violent or maybe isn’t headed anywhere in life. And it’s up to you to LET MAN GO! So, you might ask “How do I cut them off?”

Well, well, well…

You have come to the right place darling. Gwap has got you. And today I will give you many, many, many, many, options (only 5) on how to snip snap and snizzle some dead ends. (get it? like hair? Dead ends when your hair grows? No? really? Whatever).

ANYWAYS, there are five options that you can consider when you’ve reached the point you can’t take anymore, and you need to take a step from the dating pool. Keep in mind, these aren’t tip on how to breakup if you’re in a relationship, these are for people you’re just casually meeting. NEVER try any of these to break up with your 2-year partner, that’s just bad.

Option 1: Ghost.

Now this is probably the meanest form of cutting people off. It hurts really bad to the person you’re trying to run away from, so only result to this is if it absolutely necessary. This is basically suddenly disappearing from the face of the earth to that particular person. At a point you just immediately cut off all contact. You don’t respond to their calls or text message, block them off your social media, don’t show up where you know they will be and like that, problem solved. Now, expect that they will try to reach you a couple of times and be worried and might even show up at your job, so be prepared. But honestly, if they show up at your job, its either they really, really like you and you might want to reconsider or they are really, really creepy, and you might want to call the police. But most people get the hint after a few days especially if they see you’re still active on social media.

Now I know what you might be saying, Gwap that is just plain wrong and mean. Oh well, chile. I know some of you have been doing this way before me and even worse, so don’t try to make me the bad person. And for the people who have been ghosted, ummm… im sorry?

Option 2: fade away.

Fade away is the most common form of giving people the hint to take a hike. It is basically reducing your contact slowly until the memory of you fades away from them or they just get frustrated. You respond with one-word texts like; lol, k, wow, damn, cool, aight, sup and so on. You do things that make people get annoyed and just want to pull out their hair. And then you stop calling, or when they call, you say less on the phone and lie you have something to do to hang up. (yeah, I gotta go turn off my stove real quick, let me call you back). And then when they want to hang out, you say you’re very busy or don’t have money or you don’t feel well and eventually after multiple let downs, they get the hint and just leave.

Omg I feel like such a bad mentor, I shouldn’t be advising y’all these things, they WILL HURT PEOPLE. Okay you know what, I’m going to give you loves the option, it’s YOU that would determine what you’ll do with the information. Now I feel better.

Option 3: new/old flame.

Another way is lying. Like me. Just say you have met someone else and you need to be free as the wind. This way there is no way they might want to wait for you, and they will just let you go. You can’t compete with the heart. The heart wants what it wants. Simple say that you found someone new and you want to try something with that person. Now don’t just say it bluntly like that, make it a little emotional so they know you care about not hurting their feelings (even though you are a heartless monster because you decided to take the cheap way out and LIE). You can say something like “I’m just confused right now, you’re a really good person but I’m into someone else sorry” with a little crying emoji and a paragraph full of how you appreciate how good the person was to you, you will be free.

Now they might keep trying, depending on how much they were into you, but eventually they’ll give up. Or you can just say, you’re back with your ex. That always does the trick. The classic ex coming back in your life and reminding you of your memories together. Ahhhh, I can smell the deceit. DELIGHTFUL!

Option 4: Focusing on me.

Now although people might try to compete against a new/old flame they can't compete against yourself. The moment you tell someone you need to find you and focus on yourself, there is nothing left for them to say. They can’t help you find you, only you can do that (I feel like I’m using the word “you” too much. Am I? or is it just me)? You can hit them with the classics; there is a lot going on right now, I don’t think I’m ready for anything, I just want to find myself, it’s not you, it’s me. These seem cliché, but trust me, you can’t combat them. It’s a little mean and gives someone the ouch but in the end, they let you find yourself, which by the way y’all really need to do, cause y’all shouldn’t be doing this to people. It's just mean.

Option 5: Flipping the switch.

These can cause havoc, so be ready. Sometimes the way to cut people off is by making them do it. Making them frustrated or really annoyed that they think they are the one cutting you off. And these often have good positives, in that they believe they have the power and there is no chance of them contacting you again. But also the extreme negatives in that they know you as weird or crazy now and they might tell everyone else. Some ways to flip the switch is by purposely being annoying and disagreeing with their views on purpose or being very catty or lazy or whinny so they just can’t handle you. or maybe just being weird and doing weird things (like you normally do, because people are weird in general) or not trying at all.

Or the old being extremely sexual can turn someone off. Especially if they are trying to know you in a meaningful way and all you’re talking about is the eggplant emoji, taking showers together, waterfalls and 2am snaps (if know what I’m trying to say, dirty you!). these can seriously chase people away if done to an extreme.

Now keep in mind some people might actually love it and keep pushing and then you’re on your own, I don’t how to help you after that. My advice only goes this far. You can try any if the other four on the list of you want and let me know how that goes.

Bonus: Option 6: The Truth.

Instead of being a little conniving demon and hurt people’s feelings, you can just tell the truth. But we both know you’re not going to do that that’s why you have read this article and screen shotted it, so what’s the point of even talking about it.

Have fun being evil. I don’t discriminate, just hope karma doesn’t get you, because honey, being ghosted hurts.

Well I hope Gwap was able to help you be the best you can be and break young people’s heart. I try to be a good mentor, and something tells me I’m doing a great job at it. oh, stop it, I know, I'm incredible, it’s ridiculous!